Joma was a young man in his late 30s, who worked as a courier for a delivery company in Toronto. After a while, Joma got tired of delivering packages around the city because he was not making a lot of money.
As a result, Joma went to university at nights to get his B.A. degree. He took a while to complete the B.A program, but when he graduated, he applied to Osgood Hall Law school to study to become a lawyer.
Osgood Hall Law school, rejects thousands of applications each year, as a result of the large number of people who apply to study there. But Joma got excellent scores on his LSAT, so he got accepted to Osgood Hall Law School to study for a joint Law and Masters in environmental studies degree.
Joma was thrilled, because he felt that his acceptance to law school would give him the professional skills he needed to earn a dignified living.
However, Joma was married and he had two small children to support. So he applied for a scholarship and student loans to pay for his education. One day, while Joma was in his second year of law school, his wife told him that school is for children, and grown men should work to support their families.
Joma was shocked because he thought his wife was comfortable with his decision to get a law degree. Moreover, Joma was a straight A student; so he decided to complete his studies to get his LL.B/M.Sc.degree.
As time went by, the conflict between Joma and his wife began to escalate. So, one day Joma’s wife took the children and she left the marriage.
A short time later, Joma suffered a mental breakdown. The doctors were able to treat him so he did complete his studies. But he suffered a relapse a few days before graduation and he did not get his law degree.
The following months, Joma’s mental health steadily deteriorated so he was sent to a mental institution for psychiatric custodial care.
One of his classmates said that when Joma was released from the mental institution, he became a homeless man on the streets of Toronto.
There could have been a number of factors which contributed to Joma’s mental breakdown. As an example, the stress of law school, limited finance, genetics, sleep deprivation, nutritional deficiencies, drug addiction, a feeling of isolation, or other conflicts in his life.
In other words, mental illness is a complicated problem to diagnose. It involves low levels of neurotransmitters in the brain, thought disturbances and other biochemical imbalances in the patient’s biology.
But, it is fair to assume that when Joma lost his family, the emotional trauma of such an experience was the catalyst for his mental breakdown.
The global economy is unpredictable, and as a result there are many people who are feeling insecure about their future, to the extent that many are willing to make the sacrifice to go back to school to get degrees.
Many married people may have childhood dreams they wish to fulfil in their lives. As respectable as such desires might be, people who have families do have legal responsibilities to support their families.
As a result, if married people, who have families, want to get professional degrees, that require full time studies at universities, these people should discuss their plans with their spouses before they apply to a university, because the entire family will be forced to make sacrifices in order for the university student to complete his/her studies.
The family may have to avoid a new car, vacations, entertainment, or other necessities in order to help the student fulfil his/her dreams.
As a result, the couple should talk to each other about the risks, benefits, sacrifices, and the time involved in university studies. They should know how each other feels about making such a huge investment.
The fact that two people are married to each other, doesn’t require them to make sacrifices for each other. A marriage is a legal partnership. Many people get into marriages to share their lives with each other. But, each individual in that marriage still has the legal right to leave, if there is irreconcilable differences or deeply conflicting moral values.
A university education involves: lectures, meetings with study groups, writing essays, doing research and long hours of studies; which will keep the student from spending quality time with the family. There are many people in marriages who are willing to make the sacrifices necessary to help their partners complete a lengthy university degree program.
But, there are spouses who may not have the patience or the loyalty to stand by their partners for three years of law school; plus the time it takes to do articling and to search for a job; or set up a law practice.
There are many spouses who may feel threatened by their partner’s academic success. Others may feel resentment, jealousy, envy, hatred or even revenge towards their partners as a result of unresolved issues that may have nothing to do with the current university experience.
In some cases, the marriage might be getting negative interference from friends, relatives, co-workers, psychiatrists, social workers, or counsellors who view the supporting spouse as a victim in the marriage.
In other words, a marriage is a volatile arrangement because there are many biochemical, psychological, social and ecological factors that are constantly influencing the choices couples make on a daily basis.
Married people who are planning full time university studies, should think about all of the individuals who will be affected by the time spent at university, and they should consult their partners every step of the way to try and minimize the risks of disappointments, losses, grief, emotional trauma, marriage failure and or family fragmentation.
